Remember back when we were kids and our parents would tell us how different life was for us than it was when they were growing up? Our music was terrible, we didn’t have a sense of responsibility and we were certainly a much lazier generation than our parents.
We looked at our parents as if they had no clue what we were about — and blasted our Beastie Boys anthem anyway. Oh, and we swore we would never be as uncool as they were. We would totally “get” our kids in the next generation, because they would probably be just like us and united we would stand.
Wrong.
We have turned into our parents. As much as you’d like to think you haven’t. … You have. Take the music our kids listen to today. Do you think it’s as good as the music we grew up with? Sure, you may secretly blast a One Direction song or know every lyric to a Katy Perry tune or two but, overall, you know you’ve caught yourself comparing Justin Bieber to David Bowie in disdain or Miley Cyrus to Madonna. … You see where I’m going with this.
Here’s another interesting difference between us and our sweet babes: the way we communicate. We didn’t grow up in a digital world like our kids currently are, where text messaging is an acceptable form of communication. Our kids and teens are forming — and ending — relationships with the glowing light of their phones on their faces.
I recently had a conversation with a mom who was concerned about her son breaking up with his girlfriend via text message. She was really adamant about him either doing it face-to-face or, at the very least, over the phone. Her husband, on the other hand, was quick to point out that this is just a part of their generation and this is their territory to navigate. Much like our parents not understanding how we could watch hours upon hours of television or why we would choose to live with our significant others prior to marriage, it just wasn’t a thing when they were kids and much like us now, they wondered what the repercussions would be from such un-navigated territory.
Even though I desperately wanted to agree with my friend, her husband really had a point. As much as we may not like or agree with a lot of the next generation’s antics, we need to remember that they’re not us — they’re not growing up with the same lifestyle we did — and it’s our responsibility to love and support them even when their experiences seem foreign and maybe even downright wrong to us.
What are some other ways you notice yourself turning into your parents?
You have hit the nail on the head with this, Jenny!! I try to be “the cool mom” and have even earned the moniker on occasion. I raised my daughter with an eclectic musical taste from Janis, Elvis, Eminem to George but occasionally I’m just “whatheheckareyoulisteningto???” or “Can you turn it down so that I can HEAR where I’m driving”???
Yes, I’m my mother….but…and this is a BIG but…my mother is no longer my mother!!! She is some alien pod person who never says “no” to my daughter, slips her a $20, says “bless her heart, you shouldn’t be so rough on her”…who is this person? We have switched bodies!! Oh my mercy! I never thought I’d open my mouth and my mother would shoot out!!! AND my mother is texting my child!!! She’s 75 and tells me “Oh, I talked to Libby last night…well, actually, we were texting.”
Even grandma’s don’t talk to kids….
Hey Jenny! Feel free to call me anytime…I’m pretty sure phones still have this voice feature thing…LOL!
jEnny, not sure if you can get this message or not,,but you really need to listen to tonight’s show on http://www.coasttocoastam.com
It is a nite time radio show , and tonight’s topic is About autism and the connection between Autism and mothers with retro viruses ..
Yu can go to the coast website and read about the people discussing their new scientific finds..Dr.Judy Mikovitz and her scientific friend..their website and contact is on the coast site..love you xoxo L
I don’t want to be my parents.
Father left 2_kidswhen I was 2
In the 60s
My mother settled for next boy
Who came along. And I’m the first Cherokee in my family
To go college as I wanted to
And I graduated NYC
Robert NY
Grew in nj and worked in NYC until the 911 bush family disaster!!
My Opinion.
• Personally, I would have instructed and made my child face the significant other by breaking up in person.
• It is Rude to give someone such information via text/e-mail, etc.
• Face the Consequences.
• I personally think that Society is generating a group of Individuals that are Learning Improper forms of Communication which will not assist them in the Future for: College and Work Force where one must have Interpersonal Skills to survive in the Work Force and Life.
My Values and The Way I Raise My SPD Child
(i.e.: SPD- Sensory Processing Disorder)
• I am “Old School”.
• My son will be 05-Years Old in December.
• We do not run or watch regular TV in the house.
All programs that my son watches is via DVD.
Types of shows:
• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang/ Mary Poppins / The Incredible Mr. Limpet
• Gidget
• Brady Bunch/Partridge Family/Gilligan’s Island
• Baby’s 1st TV / Wiggles / Sesame Street
• Yes, my son knows of Sponge Bob (SB) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) only because another child had a T-Shirt of one and his DayCare Center at the time had a picture of the latter; not to mention it is in the stores.
Re: Grammar and Manners
• I have my son learn proper Grammar.
• Yes Ma’am / No Ma’am
• Yes Sir /No Sir
• Appropriate / Not Appropriate
• One Moment Please
• Child / Children (Instead of Kids / Kiddos)
• Please
• Thank You
Re: Eating
• In a world that emphasizes Fast Food, etc.
• We are Vegetarian so my son is trained eat his Spinach and Greens, etc.
• He is taught NOT to eat Candy, Cakes with frosting, etc.
• Fruit Smoothies are a great Treat.
• Frozen Fruit Smoothies shaped in Ice Cube trays make great treats.
• Similar to the Kool-Aid Ice Cube treats that I remember making as a child only “Healthier” version.
• That is a quick version of how I retain my Values
Seriously this is so true. I’m a laid back mom but tough when the occasion calls for it. I’m proud to be very much like my mother because she worked hard for everything she had, she made the teens (6 of us, I have step-siblings) pay for half their first car and insurance and never just handed out gas money. We didn’t have much of what we wanted but everything we needed. My kids have been raised the same because we don’t have extra money. Teaching kids to be humble and appreciate the gifts in life is far better than any other lesson and I am glad I am like my mom in that way.
I would say keeping up with the generations has been more fun than anything!!
My son had the breakup happen to him via text a couple years ago. Needless to say, I was furious! It’s rude and impolite not to have this type of conversation face-to-face. My son quickly pointed out that he asked her to date him via text so he guessed it was okay for her to end it via text.
We would have broken up with the boys in a note folded intricately into a small, little rectangle. Texting is their rectangle, as sad as it makes me.
I have had the fortunate (or un) of raising two separate groups of kids. My first set are now in their 20s and are either coming to the close of or have graduated from college. These kids grew up during the coming of age period of the internet and the introduction of mass produced cellular phones and service. They use it for nearly everything. I never hear their voices unless they are in the room with me. Otherwise, our communication is in the form of texts. I am happy with a text, especially when I consider how often I communicated with my own parents in those early adult years. I am sent pictures of home decor items asking for advice as well as whiny texts about how to budget. I love it!!!! I am a part of their lives, helping them make decisions, and they are counting on me.
With our younger kids (elementary school) I am not so thrilled to be texted questions. This could possibly be because they are only two rooms away. I frequently find myself seeking them out in the house for a face-to-face conversation about the subjects of the texts. Human face-to-face interaction is important. I worry that we are all going to become like the characters in Wall-e…all rolling around in our self contained units interacting with screens rather than one another.
I believe that this young man should have tucked his balls into his pants and gone to face the girl he no longer cared for. The experience of witnessing the disappointment of another person at your hands cannot be produced via text message. It is a profound, character building experience that would have helped this young man grow as well as the young lady.
I swore I would never be as over protective as my mother was…..So wrong. Lol, I think I maybe actually worse.
I don’t agree with Dad on this one.. Even though this is what society is turning to, we all have become a disengaged society. It’s easier to be mean, and bully people now. It’s easier to say nasty things about people so on and so forth because you don’t have to see peoples reactions. We are creating a horrible generation of people who don’t know how to socially engage anymore. They don’t know how to make “real” friends or how to carry on a “real” conversation.
My son has a kindle, but is only allowed to use it for so long before it goes to reading books (I have the cool parental setting set to 1 hour). My son plays outside, he engages with the neighborhood kids. He is being taught about failure, disappointment, how to take blame for his actions, how to be polite, respectful of other people and their feelings.
We disengage every night at dinner. Every electronic is turned off while we are sitting at the table eating as a family. We talk with each other, ask how our day went.. All the “old” values!
We also disengage once a week, even if it’s a Monday after work/school, or on a weekend day and do things together as a family.
I worked for a man who had a rule when he went to dinner with his family…. All cell phones went into the middle of the table, the first person to grab their phone PAID THE ENTIRE BILL! When his kids and spouses come to visit, they are to leave the phones by the front door (unless the daughter in law is expecting a phone call from work), as he says if you want to play on a phone instead of engaging with your mother and I go home, and we can talk on the phone. You are not here to play on a cell phone, you are here to visit and that is what we are going to do!
I remember the day my oldest daughter came home from Kindergarten, and when I asked what she had learned that day, she told me they had a lockdown drill. I nearly threw up, I felt that sick to my stomach. The thought that they have to hold such drills in the small town I live in terrifies me. But that is the world they are growing up in. A world where news of change anywhere in the world travels instantaneously to millions of people. Where there is hardly such a thing as privacy. Competition for attention is fiercely fought out on YouTube and Facebook. I think it would be naive to expect that, by raising a child without exposure to those things, they will grow up better people. But it is certainly important to teach your children good values, and have meaningful conversation about what they see on TV and the internet so they understand what is real, what is fake, that you can’t believe everything you read/see/hear, and to respect others by not sharing things that would cause others to be hurt or upset. Technology can be a wonderful thing, but kids need to be taught how to use it properly, when it is appropriate, and have set limits. And yes, they need to see the consequences of their actions. I think awareness is the best policy, and keep the conversation going with your kids!
I struggle every day with not setting the example with my son that my father, and his father before him, set to turn him into a total drunk. I really struggle, but pretty much succeed in setting a successful example that my parents never set for me. But eventually I know he is going to find out that I’m just doing all this on nothing but will power. I gear that day every day of my life because I’m afraid it will make him realize how much our family can drink.