Do you have people in your life that seem to shroud themselves in drama? It’s almost as if they need to be in the middle of an unbearable catastrophe in order to function in their day-to-day lives. Take a moment to look at the company you keep and evaluate how many drama-lovers you find.
We are a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with — take a moment to look within and decide if you are a part of the crowd that creates and lives amongst the drama. If we’re all being really honest, each and every one of us would be nodding our heads, knowing we fall victim to this. See if any of the below resonate with you.
- Someone is always out to get you: The coworker that dropped the ball on his portion of the project, the older man that cut you off, the server that forgot to leave the tomatoes off of your salad. Is your first reaction to get angry with these people? Many of us feel like their intent was to offend or upset us. We yell at them, flip them the bird or whisper bad things about them behind their backs. When you really think about it, or maybe even ask them, we discover it wasn’t about us at all — so why do we take it upon ourselves to be so bothered?
- Reading into something that isn’t there: Times have changed, and the way we communicate now is very different from the way our grandparents did. Texts and tweets and emails. … These allow for a lot of lapses in emotion and judgement. Without eye contact and voice inflection, we are left with a big window to interpret how someone is communicating. If you find yourself upset by the wording of an email, first stop and ask yourself why you’re bothered, and then reach out to the person and ask for clarity. There are so many times I find myself in this situation — then come to find out I was manifesting feelings and emotions that were never implied by the sender.
- The conversation inevitably turns to someone that is not present: Crazy Aunt Sally and her decision to adopt an 11th cat or the neighbor whose recycling bin is always full of wine bottles — the second you find the conversation turning into a judgement against someone that isn’t around to share in the conversation, you’re entering a terribly toxic zone. Remember, the person you are speaking negatively about is your mirror. Stop pointing the finger at them and look internally to understand why their life choices bother you.
Once we can let go of some of the entirely unnecessary drama and toxic behavior we hold on so tightly to, our lives will feel a whole lot simpler — resulting in a whole lot of happy.
I love you jenny McCarthy I think you are hot!!!!!
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Always making me laugh! Just watched your show, you were shopping with your sister ft or your new home, I was cracking up, reminds me of my sister and I. Looks like I’ll be watching more. Welcome to STC! ITS a great town, but not a lot of furniture stores here. Straw Flower nice but No, LOL! Restoration In oakbrook. Go there, I just bought dining chairs, office furniture Love, love that place. Good Luck Decorating
hi,
I’m high jacking your blog post to ask about your cute black, flat mule/sling backs you wore last episode when you were running up your stairs, after the chickens? I don’t know where to post questions like these. I’m trying a couple of spots. I’m a tall, heavy girl and can’t wear heels, so I spotted the shoes and can’t stop thinking about them. I’m a huge fan of yours and your family/Wahlburgs also.
About this post. I often wonder if that person is me. I have friends like this for sure. My husband is always stressed and overly anal. He, is never happy for any length of time. I wish on stars (yes, I’m 44, and I still make wishes with my kids) for him to just not be so angry, so upsettable, always over complicating every situation. I deflect life, by having ailments. I’ve come to realize I have depression, but, knowing, doesn’t magically make me ok. I always have excuses and ailments that hold me back from life. I know this, but don’t seem to change my predicament.
I think it’s imperative to teach my kids now, how to be happy. How to identify the things that make them happy and how to find that light for themselves, at an early age. I want it to be a part of them, so they don’t seek, friends, relationships and or even themselves, being in a constant state of arrest. I want them to know what they need and have tools to how to get it. My experiences help, but actions speak louder than words, right?!
Thanks again.
Connie
I can completely relate to this. Then it was pointed out to me, by my older children, that my 11 yr old was not going out to play with his friends because he constantly worried about me. I wasn’t very receptive to that conversation but it nagged at me. From then on I practically shove my son out to play, plastered a big (fake) smile and once a month try and do something with him that’s out of my comfort zone. I’ve ACTUALLY had fun. My new motto is “fake it, til you make it” and it has really helped me keep more upbeat.
I never know what to say when people are talking behind someone’s back. I’m so glad I have ADHD…I just turn it around and ask them about there pretty lipstick; or point to something shining. ?
Speaking as someone with ADHD and whose children are also afflicted with it. Sure, ADHD does sometimes make life difficult, but an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t always have to be serious. Life is definitly entertaining at times. I should add that shiny things always distract me and I don’t see that as a bad thing! LOL
Love your insight! Recently heard the advice to take a look at the energy you’re putting out there and the type of people you are attracting. It all makes sense!
Thanks for writing and sharing this, Jenny. It is great advice to actually sit and ask yourself why you are bothered by what someone has said or done. I am actually going to do this rather than make an instant judgement!
Great food for thought Jenny! Our ego can definitely invite drama that is really not there and communicating to get clarity will remove the situations in our head that are really not there!
Cheers Tray
My ex fiancee & his family are nothing but constant drama. Even tho I’m still close to several members, not marrying him or into his family was a blessing in disguise. I gave him 8 yes of my life (on & off) & he didn’t deserve any of it.
I started watching your show (D L’s J) because I was so in love w the two of u & I’d been searching for my own Donnie…well, FINALLY I found my own Bebe & he is drama free & hands down THE most amazing man I’ve ever met! So happy to be in that love boat w u Jenny! I admire & adore u. Ive read several of your books…I loved Louder Than Words…couldn’t put it down & i, fortunately don’t know anyone w Autism. U r amazing….truly & I am one of ur biggest fans!!
Love u & everything u do!!
This is so true! i have someone doing this in my life right now…not the best feeling let me tell you. But I just distance myself from them & hope they realize judging my life isn’t always the best…since their life hasn’t always been so perfect. Thanks for this! ???
I like you I think you’re great
My Dad always taught me that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. And we all live in glass houses!
This is so true, I have been trying to rid myself of these kind of people lately, I love them with all my heart but I just cant deal with the constant drama and gossip. Its really not healthy! Give love and love will spread
Thank you! This is totally what I needed to see today.
You’re timing for this sage advice is perfect. We all know at least one relative & one friend who deal us a hand of their drama. I try to follow your guidelines as best as possible. There’s always reluctance to see our reflection in others but it serves us well. Bottom line is our choice how to react: with peace & love or negativity & stressed out anger. Thanks for sharing your life lessons in these blog entries.
Nicely written. All of us have at least one of these people in our lives
and the question is why do we let them “get” to us. Once you know
the game they are playing, the more adept you can become in playing
your side in kindness or defense.
I have always tried looking through somone else’s eyes and I try not to bother myself with the little things but always be respectful and kind. This world is full of negativity and I would like to not fall into that! We never do truly know what someone else is going through, as they do not know what I am going through. Life is a gift and time goes so swiftly! I prefer to stay on the lighter side of things! If someone is creating problems that may not exist I try to remain calm and help them look at things in a different way! Keep on the sunny side;)
Jenny, thank you for the food for thought. Very insightful.
Have a great day.
Excellent points. My inclination has always been to go from zero to victimized and whiny in 6 nano-seconds. I’ve chosen to monitor my reactions in the types of situations you describe so I don’t fall into that trap. Thank you.
I agree Jenny. The more drama you can let go of the happier you will be. A few years ago I edited a lot of drama llamas (as I call them) from my life . I looked at myself and started to change my reactions too. There are some people still in my life that are drama llamas that I have learned to accept their ways, but not get sucked into it myself. I am a happier healthier person without them.
Donnie is a lucky, lucky man! Glad to see you two so happy! 🙂
I’m sitting here crying because i wrote a comment to you and it disappeared. I don’t know if you got it or not. Can you let me know please? It was important. I guess that’s what I get for having a kindle and not a real computer. Thanks. Love y’all. Wanda
Hi Jenny, This is so true..You know people are only reflecting exactly what they need to become aware of within themselves. If people could realize that they need to treat others the way they want to be treated. We all attract in its likeness the experiences in life for our own growth. We are magnets to the experiences we create. I feel how genuine the love your family has for each other and the way you all express this love to the world! You will only attract more love!
I wanted to mention something not on the same subject,I saw the latest Donnie Loves Jenny, with Evan’s award, Congratulations Evan!! I am sure you know this, yet, I wanted to share that my husband and I have implemented Kefir smoothies, fermented veggies, like dill pickles/kraut and brewing Kombucha into our diets with amazing results in our health and skin. I read several stories how putting the good bacteria with these kinds of regimens back into our bodies have actually cured or at least subsided symptoms of autism too. We are lacking good bacteria from the foods we eat. Maybe something to research and share with the parents you connect with… Anyway,we love your show and you. I myself born and raised in Chicago, we stick together!! Thank you for all you do, you have raised awareness in cracking open some of the old belief systems(which many cannot handle) and make us laugh..Keep doing it!! Blessings, Chris D
Jenny,
You hit the nail on the head!!! Thank you for putting things in perspective!!
I totally agree letting go of the toxic overdramatic people in your life is amazing. I recently had to break up with a friend as she was extremely toxic for my life it took a while for me to get the courage but once I did I found a sense a calm in my life. There was no moree getting dragged into her drama & I could do as I pleased. She has since come back & apologised (I see her at school) but I very nicely said I wish you no harm but want nothing to do with you.
There is visibly a bundle to identify about this. I think you made some nice points in features also.