When you find yourself caught up in someone else’s life drama, you are no doubt in the wrong kind of business. It’s strictly their business and belongs to them. As my blogs continue to be put out into the blogging world, I will always give credit to the wise teachers who taught me to become conscious enough to see my foibles and teach me how to evolve. Many times you’ve heard me mention Byron Katie. Again, she taught me yet another valuable life lesson: to mind my own business. This has been an incredibly hard one for me to master so I thought I would share with you, so you can maybe figure out how to do it in your own life.
Getting involved in other people’s drama is obviously the easiest way for us not to deal with our own business and when we get caught up in other people’s lives we often end up missing our own. For some reason, when a friend or family member has an issue, a crisis or drama, I tend to immerse myself into their lives, their drama, their karma, their happiness, their sadness and work so much to help them I find that I may be avoiding what’s happening in my own life.
When I woke up from this pattern I was shocked to look back at how much energy I had given out because I was in someone else’s business. Then I had a thought: What if I stayed out of other people’s business and put that energy into my own life – how much more would I accomplish? How much more love could I give to my own family? How much more love would I be able to give myself? I felt like when I plugged my energetic cords into other people’s drama I was pausing my own spiritual growth and I certainly don’t want to delay that. So, anytime I found myself overly concerned in drama that didn’t belong to me, I immediately stopped, surrounded myself with light, sent some to them, and then observed what was going on instead of becoming a player.
The best way to become awake to this pattern is to watch your friends and relatives who are constantly caught up in one particular person’s issues. You can witness the emotion and energy they have invested in a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with them. This is how I have learned this lesson best, because when you don’t have an emotional connection to it, it’s much easier to see. Once you find yourself upset or distraught about someone else’s business, then you just fallen down that rabbit hole and I can only hope you wake up, unplug and mind your own business.
People really can manage their own karma even if they appear to be a hot mess, so stop casting yourself in their drama and become a star in your own life.
Karma is given out to people who are selfish
Like charlie sheen or kim
K who got the worst curse
Of all this year.
Help people from a soup kitchen to a homeless shelter .one dollar can buy
A box of spaghetti MS JENNY. A LITTLE GOES ALONG WAY
ROBERT NY
So true Jenny. It is best to worry about yourself & give advice only as requested. God B less Jenny. Jim; US Air Force Iraqi Veteran.
I totally agree. We as humans think we can always make it better or our own experience will help there situation when lots of times your imput comes back and bits you in the ass. We’ve (my husband and I) have learned to listen if needed but keep our opinion to ourselves. And not take sides. My saying is Not my monkey, Not my circus.Lots of love to you and your family.
I used to find that by throwing myself into other people’s business/lives no matter what happened I would always come out of it being the bad one. Thanks for your simple but powerful words again Jenny x
Um, She’s not referring to people who are in unfortunate or in need; like those who may need the aid of a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. She is referring to people who may be friends, co-workers, or family members who are constantly drawing others into their own personal drama/issues that is going on within their life. If anything, Jenny is a very charitable person and does a lot of charity work. Please check out her twitter account on Sundays. She’s very involved in trying to help others who are less fortunate.
Agreed. People would be more content managing their own affairs. Plu, stop comparing…
If the person is a friend, the person deserves at least some small amount of guidance and input from another friend. Friends help each other at least a little bit. People who are not friends, let friends crash into a brick wall. I’m always there to help a friend, at least a little bit. It’s the right thing to do.
This is great advice. I find myself getting involved where I don’t need to. Not getting involved will help with the stress level in my life and I think make me a happier person.
As always great advice Jenny!
OHEMGEEE JENNY!!!! I Love this. You are a natural beautiful healing light. Like us all just up to us to tap in and let it shine. You have taught me so much over the years and continue to be an endearing inspiration. Thank you!!
Break Free From Drama Love it & YOU!!! #mindyourownbeeswax ;p
Love you Jenny. So cute and wise ;0)
Great advice Jenny!
We all make our destiny I believe
I have found that we can be a friend without being ‘in their business’. Allowing them to vent and offering sound advice is the best way to support and love our friends. If we feed on their drama it really only makes the entire situation worse and can possibly cause more collateral damage.
Great post today. 🙂
-BB
I use to get much too involved in my friends lives and when I quit it was a relief. My mom use to do this & it was bad habit I picked up. Doesn’t mean I’m not supportive of my friends but I offer a suggestion if asked and then move on.
This is so true! I wish I learned this lesson earlier but i’m still grateful to have learned it at all!
I learned a few years ago that u shouldn’t do someone else’s inventory… It’s true sit back and listen, as a friend, is the best thing that you can do and only reflect with questions back to them. They say you shouldn’t do someone else’s “inventory” and not judge. Easier said than done but I practice it every single day!
Its true that even with the best intentions and emotions, if its not your business butt out. Totally a super wretchedly difficult thing to do but it ends up biting you in the hiney eventually. Learned this lesson the hard way! 🙂
i am a mom of a severly dysphasia kid and i succeeded to put him in a regular school sorry for my mistakes i s^peak french i am from quebec and i would like to start a place to help mom with kids like mine but i dont know how to
Some people like to share their woes and such with the public, but I find those same people are the ones that get offended when people respond by offering advise, or will comment that people need to “mind their own business”. If you put it on Facebook/Twitter/social media period, you are setting yourself up for comment. I have learned to sympathize with friends that are going through a situations, but unless they ask me specifically what I would do in such a situation, I leave it at that. I have had my head bit off too many times for giving what the recipient deemed unsolicited advise. So much for being a good friend, I guess. Now I simply respond when a friend is unloading their troubles that I am sorry to hear they are going through such a hard time, and if there is anything they need, I am there for them.
Jenny, thank you for this post. I definitely needed to read this right now. Sometimes it’s not only your willing participation in others’ business or, as you said, you’re wanting to immerse and help those you love (I have so been there), but it can also be others trying to pull you into their drama and then feeling as if you aren’t being kind or a good person if you refuse to let their problems and drama bring you down. I personally try to be helpful when I can. But there have to be healthy boundaries where you help where you can and then butt out and pray for them. Not only can people handle their own issues most times, but God can definitely handle their issues if people would let Him. You’re absolutely correct on the energy it takes and how you begin to neglect your own life when you are in other people’s business and drama all of the time. Funny how time and life begins to show you this truth as you go along, if you are fortunate enough 🙂
VERY TRUE. As some have already mentioned, there’s a difference between just voicing support/empathy vs. trying to FIX someone’s problem for them, especially the problems of the drama queens. Gals, watch out for your men (who are simply hard-wired to HELP when a problem is presented to them – it’s a guy thing, bless ’em) & help them to keep their “boundaries” intact when needed. My contractor/husband – a wonderful guy, to a fault sometimes – thought he was simply helping out his (emotionally unstable) female client with HER problem with HER neighbor, & ended up getting bit in the ass BIGTIME when said neighbor took out retribution against both the client AND my husband (& me too, by association as it turned out). Long story — but it definitely woke up my husband to stay out of others’ dramas, even in the name of “helping out”….